Living upside down

Ahhh, one of the joys of nursing is the fact that we work in shifts. Traditionally, nurses in intensive care units work a 12.5 hour shift. It is better for the patient to interact with fewer people. Health care can become like the game telephone and if too many people are in the line the initial phrase becomes twisted. Things get missed and patient care is not optimal- I know it sounds trivial, but you need to know how many liters of fluid ahead your patients is and when their last bowel movement was. Lovely, isn't it- but these are some of the little details that make it so you can provide the best service possible. Yes, health care is REALLY a service industry. Anyways, back to my original point- so we work these long shifts traditionally from 7am to 7:30pm or 7pm to 7:30AM. One of the joys of working these shifts, is that unless you really like working nights and want to do it permanently- you have to rotate. Currently, I am on the night rotation and am almost through the worst part, which is the first three weeks. As this is my third time doing this rotation- I am beginning to know how to do things, so that I feel some what normal. The first time I "flipped" was when I was on orientation- I felt like shit. Literally, it was horrible. I cried everyday and those who know me, know I'm not the type to cry. I had made the mistake of trying to work the way do I when I am on days- three days in a row. Nope, it wasn't happening. With the increased traffic faced on both directions of the commute and the distance I live from my hospital- it made it so I was getting four or five hours of sleep. You can't be effective working for someone else, when you are so tired that you can hardly function. It leads to mistakes and mistakes lead to death. No thank you.

The second time I did it, I mainly worked one day on and one day off. This is much better and I stayed on the night schedule even if I wasn't working. This worked better for me and I wasn't crying everyday- but I got sick. I usually don't get very sick, so it wasn't any big deal. Just the way your body tells you it is angry with you and it doesn't like what you are doing to it.

Ahh, the third time is supposed to be the charm- right? Hmm, I'm not so sure- but to be fair there were some unexpected challenges. REAL sickness. One of my fine coworkers decided to come into work while he was experiencing some respiratory and GI issues. Needless to say- every single nurse in our unit called into sick one day or the other the first week I was on nights. It was great fun to drive home while vomiting....you drive, you pull over to throw up and then sleep for a little while and the cycle repeats. My normal commute took five hours with my husband finally retrieving me. Bless his soul. A week after that, I then got the flu like cold going around the unit. Aches, chills, cough, and feeling like your hair hurts. Surprisingly, I know this wasn't the real flu. Why, because as a nurse you know these things. I get to consistently requalify what the flu is for my parents and siblings- who call any respiratory infection the flu. Anyways, this is the middle of week three and I'm actually beginning to feel seminormal. My body is getting used to doing all of the things it normally does during the day- at night. I have started living out of our family room, while my family is upstairs sleeping. Currently, I am doing laundry and the fire is going. Not half bad. Oh and I am getting ready for my finals- which are Tuesday.

I have to say that seeing the sun come up and go down is kind of weird. When I work days, I see one or the other depending on the season- but not usually both. Sunrise is cooler. I also enjoy my little boy coming downstairs to me, where I get to see him with his hair messed up and his eyes still full of sleep. I like kissing my husband good night and good morning and wondering upstairs to watching him sleep and wonder where he is. I also like the quiet it affords at work. The unit is dark and full of the reassuring noises of heart monitors and breathing machines. The whirl, hum, and beep. There is also the strange beauty that can only be appreciated by an ICU nurse. If your patient is critically ill, the ones we really like, their room is filled with the beautiful glow of machines. The green LCD display of the IV pumps. The green, blue, red, white, and yellow waveforms of the heart, lungs, and brain. The train of four machine in red and the vent in green. The many lights, machines, and medications working together to keep someone alive. It is all beautiful to me.